Whatever is a girl to do?

You never know what is around the corner unless you peek. Hold someone’s hand while you do it. You will feel less scared. You can’t do this alone. Besides it is much more fun to succeed and fail with other people. You can blame them when things go wrong. Take your risks now. As you grow older, you become more fearful and less flexible. And I mean that literally. I hurt my knee on the treadmill this week and it wasn’t even on.

Try to keep your mind open to possibilities and your mouth closed on matters that you don’t know about. Limit your “always” and your “nevers.” Continue to share your heart with people even if its been broken. Don’t treat your heart like an action figure wrapped in plastic and never used. And don’t try to give me that nerd argument that your heart is a batman with a limited edition silver battering and therefore if it stays in its original package it increases in value. Watch it Harvard, you’re not better than me.

Comedians are, and this is the mutant gene, you’re doing what you’re doing and you’re watching yourself do what you do. This is what comedians do by nature. We are always observing. Most people on Saturday Night Live, like interviewers would say, “Were you the class clown?” and almost all of us would say, “Absolutely not!” I was the person in the back row making the wise ass comments. You know, there’s a difference between the class clown and the person who’s ripping ‘em very subtly because they’re watching and observing what’s happening and they’re careful about it.